Wednesday 27 December, 2006

Mountains o' things

I don't know what December is all about. I've almost always had shitty Decembers. I think it's some World Conspiracy to make you think the year to follow will be better.

See, the thing is this. These people want to take away my appendix, I think. Yesterday, the doctor squashed me on my right side and asked me if it hurts. No, Doc, really, don't you mean "does it hurt, yet"? Because if you keep up the good work, the appendix will leap up into your waiting arms and lick your face, just to stop the damn squashing. But yes, to answer your question, it hurts very much, thank you. It's just lovely. Second only to the needle you stuck in my hip. Painkiller, is that? How does it go about killing pain? Another psychological mindgame, where the aim is to find something that hurts more than the original thing, so that everything gets cancelled out and you can't even be sure you're in absolute agony anymore? Nice trick!

Such a pity. I was growing so attached to my appendix. Ain't that just the way things are.

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