Second Fiddle and Other Stories

1. In an orchestra, the position of second violinist (fiddle) is not as glamorous as that of first violinist. The poor bastard. I empathise.

2. When my sister and I were younger, we would celebrate Boris Becker's birthday, every year, for many years. One year, we even baked a cake. When Becker lost to Michael Stich in the 1991 Wimbledon finals, I broke a part of a door. Like my sister (Potato) said, those were simpler times, but we still had to write exams.

3. I cry every time a salesman knocks on my door. Last afternoon, I got home early. A salesman knocked on my door. I asked him to please leave, and cried for 40 minutes. I think something's wrong with me.

4. Nobody knows you when you're down and out. Actually, that's not entirely true, but I want to complain and exaggerate, do you mind.

5. A blog is a Boomsa's best friend. It doesn't judge me, I can talk to it whenever I want and it's only mean if I want it to be. I can't imagine why I ever stopped writing.

6. All I want for Christmas is to sleep at night. And socks that do not end annoyingly just below my ankle. What is that. And why did I ever buy so many of those. I want normal socks that know their job and want to keep you warm at night. Not just till where it thinks your ankles begin. Socks need anatomy training. I want warm intelligent sensible socks. In red and orange and purple, and preferably with flying cows on them.

7. I wrote a letter in reply to my brother-in-law's postcard a couple of weeks back. I still haven't sent it. Since then, I've received another postcard from him. This is an apology in public to you, Pink. I will post it today.

8. I wish you weren't leaving, Jakes. I really wanted to talk to you. Have a great trip. Kissy.

9. Please visit http://orangebiriyani.blogspot.com She is my best friend. And so like the perfect pair of socks. See the horses galloping galloping down the country lane!

10. Language is leaving me.